Randomly Practical Solutions: Benjamin Franklin Part I: Choosing Service Providers

IT'S ALL ABOUT ...

THE BENJAMIN'S !!!!!

This is what all of the Cable, Cellular and Insurance providers out there are thinking. In my short and very observant experience with life, I have found that the best defense is indeed a good offense. So I propose that we make it all about the Benji’s as well. Benjamin Franklin was a genius. He has the catchiest phrases out there. For example, a penny saved is a penny earned. How rad is that. It is even interchangeable. An crooked bank bailed-out is a crooked bank saved. Now we can be ripped off and controlled forever, sweet! Anywho, as I was saying about these different companies that provide service, or the lack of, can be simply dealt with when you apply the following quotes from Benjamin Franklin. I picked them at random and will apply them to fit our scenario

How to make it all about the Benji’s:

“A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.”

First things first, you are going to be a blockhead either way for allowing these companies into your life, so be comfortable with the fact that you are S.O.L., But it is better to be S.O.L and knowing it than all of the sudden asking them what the Vaseline is about. That is just awkward, honestly.

“Content makes poor men rich; discontent makes rich men poor.” “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.”

Next, be ready for the saddest excuse for concern in your life. They really don’t care how things are working out with you as long as you are paying. So, you need to learn how to be content with what you have, even if it doesn’t work, cause that is what you have got. If you are being discontent, be ready to become an expert in translating southern drawl accents as preformed by individuals in India. After you learn how to translate, you will understand that their canned conversation is directing you to being content with their crappy providing skills. All of the excuses you will hear let’s you know that these people are good for nothing more that an excuse on the tip of the tongue. Don’t just be a fool, be a proactive fool and complain when is needed. You will improve the speech of some young Indian.

“Diligence is the mother of good luck.” “He that can have patience can have what he will.”

If you want to get ripped off at a lower rate, it is going to take some serious diligence and effort. If you are prepared to be S.O.L, an opportunity will come along to get it done at a lower rate. Preparation + Opportunity = Luck, Luck equals a smaller rate of being crap out luck, and a smaller rate of being crap out of luck is what you want. Make sense? Just have patience and you will have a smaller rate of being crap out of luck, but either way, you will be.

“Half a truth is often a great lie.”

Get ready for a lot of great lies from them, and they will be ready for a lot of great lays from you. (That was a little further than anticipated, sorry.)

“Certainty? In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.”

Death and taxes, notice that he did not include bills, there is a reason for that. They don’t know what they are going to charge you next month, let alone what they charged you last month. They don’t even know what number is on your bill. They could have sent you a bill for $10.00 for all they know. Well, at least you know that eventually you will die.

“Applause waits on success.”

You will applause these companies as often as Chuck Norris cries, never.

“Creditors have better memories than debtors.”

Bad, bad memories, enough said.