Practically Random Trivia: Dolphins

They are the freaks of nature. I don’t mean weird freaks, I am talking freaky freaks, you know, like R-Kelly. Actually, Dolphins are more like the oceans manifestation of Rick James. Flipper was indeed a Superfreak. Not only have they mastered the art of sex for pleasure, but they never sleep. ‘Tis true. I have had the opportunity to read from an inspired document, in the form of a book, called “Do Fish Drink Water?”. It is quite amazing. It is all random trivia and useless knowledge, which is right up my alley. If it is a fact that is relevant to life, it is in one ear and out the other, but if it is of no importance, it completely intrigues me. Call me quirky, but the fact that a dolphin does not sleep is life altering for me. If you think about it, one of the closest relatives to a dolphin is a horse. Could you imagine making a horse live in aquarium? David Blaine can barely handle it, honestly. As, I was saying though, a dolphin is just like you and I, they have to come up for air frequently to keep their oxygen levels up. So to rest they have mastered a trick that I am working on. Just like we have 2 hemispheres to our brain, dolphins do too, except, they have mastered the art of controlling each side separately. When a dolphin needs to rest they just shut down one of the 2 hemispheres of their brain for 8 hours and then shut down the other hemisphere for another 8 hours and then have them functioning together for another 8 hours. How rad would that be? Stay awake 24/7 but, only have half a brain during for 2/3rds of the day!

There are a million things you could do with only half of a brain!
1) Watch T.V., you would be just as capable as the writers to write the show.
2) You could be in Legislation. Making trash loads from lobbyists, while passing laws you forgot to research about.
3) Be a CEO for one of the big 3 Auto-manufacturers.
4) Play in the NBA.
5) Listen to country music.
6) Write country music.
7) Play country music backwards and get your house, wife and dog back.
8) Create a Facebook account for each of your pets.
9) Read Nancy Pelosi’s, Mike Huckabee’s and Hilary Clinton’s Books with Oprah and make up funny names for each of them.
10) Figure out that a single professional athlete makes more money in one year than all of the firemen, police men and paramedics who give up their lives for our safety do their whole lives.
11) And last, but not least, Read this blog. Unfortunately, you would still be too overqualified to post on it.

So, let’s take a lesson from Dolphins. Unless you really can control the hemispheres of your brain and function on one half at a time, please don’t act like it.