Practical Politics: Winston Churchill

What a genius! Like Jude Law, I am sure his accent made him sound even smarter than he was, but he actually really was a remarkably intelligent man. If I had even so much as an inkling of his charm, people would write books about me being a vampire that is so good looking and so strong, yet I become way obsessed by the scent of a shy humanling that it seems like I am in love with her when really I only want her for her healthy uterus. Oh, Wait... That already happened, I forgot. Thanks, Steph. Anywho, Winston churchhill just had this charm and wit about him that he could change the world with a single quote. Here are several of those quotes:

“Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party.”

*cough* Democrats & Republicans *cough* *cough*. Excuse me, I feel that some change their principles for the sake of their buddies in the bank cartels that have sold them an agenda.

“If you're going through hell, keep going.”

If you are going to IKEA, just keep going or you will never make it home. Talk about great and spacious. There is so much crap, wonderful crap, but crap none the less.

“Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except all those others that have been tried from time to time.”

Governments are like Chinese buffets, there is only one good one within a 100 mile radius, and you only learn that after you make yourself completely sick off of the other 200 of them, yet keep trying each of them. I have been to buffets that would be classified as communistic, it was never good, no matter how many times you went.

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Kind of like mullets. The hater sees the Wal-Mart in every mullet, While everyone else sees the mullet in every Wal-Mart. Respect the mullet over the mart.

“It is no use saying, 'We are doing our best.' You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.”

I am sure that they are feeling like they are doing their best at creating more jobs while they are helping the people who got us into this mess keep their jobs first. They mean well, too bad the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Yes, everybody means well when they drive to Ikea.

“Those who forget history are bound to repeat it”

This is just like the buffet thing. You go and eat, you get incredibly sick and/or constipated. You about vomit when you even think about going there again and sure enough 2 weeks later you are there again. Talk about slow suicide.

“Out of intense complexities intense simplicities emerge.”

I think he was talking about one of those gypsy carnival rides, you know, the ones that they piece together on the spot. They are complex on the outside, yet so simple on the inside, but when you realize that you are sitting with the bearded lady, it is intense the whole way through.

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”

And that is what happens when you wear diapers when you are old, you are always scared that someone will hear you crap yourself.